View of Some Kind

A tree becomes a branch somewhere in the first inch coming out of the ground.

2009-06-17T11:01:00.000-07:00

Intending only up to the sun. No matter how many other branches reach out from it with the same tireless hope, those first few inches close to the ground will never serve to carry their weight, but instead share entirely the lightness, the reach, and the heart of every subsequent branch and twig.

Leaves, however, luxuriate slothfully and exhibit themselves pruriently in all directions until they simply fall off, expired and inebriated by the uncontained indulgence of the sunlight the struggling branches have devoted the whole of their existence to providing. Leaves, playful, green and unruly, live short, colorful, float-in-the-wind, often semi-transparent lives, turgid, moist, pulsing and elated from their obscene unfoldings until the moment of their crumbling falling obsolescence (which, show-offs that they are, can even be more hedonistically colorful.

Don't stop to fight setbacks, just keep going.

2009-02-15T20:42:00.000-08:00

Existence is suspect.

2009-02-14T08:10:00.000-08:00

Be on the lookout.

The truth is very often as unintriguing and uninspiring as it is unexpected.

2009-02-14T08:07:00.000-08:00

And unless we are alone when we hear it we very much prefer to hear a story that we're sure most of the people we know would easily understand.

Pride is what you have instead of will power.

2009-01-12T11:20:00.000-08:00

Will power is just so much more flattering. It's something easily imagined and you can always find ready gratification in observing it as absent in others. It's lack is so pervasive that it leaves you convinced that it therefore must exist if you can see the empty spaces where it isn't, and can be engaged with essentially, the removal of contemplation altogether in your own self and then committing simple, "chosen" actions. But...then what?

Confidence is insecurity's last, most desperate urge to deny what it simply does not yet understand.

2008-10-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

Certainty is surrender.

It's always good if it's been a while.

2008-09-25T09:40:00.000-07:00

When you think you've seen it before is when blindness sets in.

2008-09-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

Life is short, and in the end doesn't really mean anything.

2008-08-06T19:42:00.001-07:00

So be nice and have lots and lots of sex.

egypt

2008-08-02T18:27:00.001-07:00

south of egypt in the water, originally uploaded by leparmentiergrande.

People deserve all kinds of things they will never be able to appreciate

2008-07-09T13:36:00.000-07:00

This can't be stopped. There are almost no transactions in life. And most often, when we feel certain we have experienced one it is no less conceptual than ownership. There is mostly just giving and far more than those receiving can be fairly expected to recognize.

There are no important questions. What's important is to ask them.

2008-04-19T08:05:00.000-07:00

sky

2008-03-23T12:48:00.001-07:00

sky, originally uploaded by leparmentiergrande.

Even if you are doing it physically it is still a philosophical state if it is because of why you are doing it.

2008-03-06T19:55:00.000-08:00

If you have no idea why you are doing it you are closer.

Part of me will always be twelve years old.

2007-12-30T09:59:00.000-08:00

if you want to change that you are the enemy.

If you're doing it right, being honest should mostly just give you a fresh handful of questions.

2007-12-27T22:56:00.000-08:00

It will never work if you do it perfectly.

2007-11-30T19:49:00.001-08:00

History has proven nothing

2007-10-20T17:48:00.000-07:00

recent photo of self

2007-07-19T14:29:00.001-07:00

paulinthehospital, originally uploaded by leparmentiergrande.

Life is only one day long.

2007-06-11T11:07:00.000-07:00

2007-06-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

The only abilities which we all have access to and which are the only means to affect any and all progressing change are those which we have no ability to require or enable any other to act with.

Expectation limits presence of mind.

2007-06-05T09:08:00.002-07:00

Possibility is never truth

2007-06-05T09:08:00.001-07:00

Better a hunch than just faith.

2007-05-21T21:42:00.001-07:00

Do.

2007-05-12T15:37:00.000-07:00

Not being able to throw away everything you have
to go do something entirely different
has never been a rational fear.

Because you don't have anything.

2007-05-01T19:59:00.000-07:00

A lot of times something that feels good can also solve a lot of problems.
And I just don't think that's something a loving god would want us to run away from.

2007-05-01T19:58:00.000-07:00

Confidence wishes it had Humility's strength.

Things only seem to begin with so what chance does existence have anyway?

2007-04-22T23:01:00.000-07:00

Certainty is where you stop.

2007-04-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

Nothing much is over really.

2007-04-10T20:58:00.000-07:00

Pretty much everything is still to come.

Fast wrap-up

2007-04-07T22:50:00.000-07:00

So, obviously, I didn't quite keep up with the daily blogging through the fast. so here's the finish...

I lost ten pounds altogether,
greatly enhanced my senses of smell and taste,
seriously increased my energy from day one,
my sleep improved very unexpectedly and actually pretty gratifyingly.
My physical movement is noticably freer/smoother...yoga poses are more accessible/productive, particularly my lower back/twisting.
I never got sick of the drink that was my only food for eight and a half days (lemon juice-maple syrup-cayenne-water), and
quite honestly did not feel any food cravings.

The one concerning moment was on day seven when I hadn't had the drink for about 5 hours. I typically don't suffer much from sugar crashes, but this one really affected my concentration. A glass of stuff though, and I was back to normal in 15 minutes. I had normal to higher energy through the rest of the fast.

We transitioned with a day that also included fresh-squeezed OJ, then a day of that plus freshly-made veggie stock. Then salads, raw meals and an all-around truly vegan diet since (with exceptions for bittersweet chocolate ganache for dipping fruit into and minor day-to-day exposures to sugar, though quite few).

In the three days following the fast I gained back three pounds...then I lost four pounds in four days. As of today I've gained one and a half more back following the discovery of a new chocolate store in San Francisco. I've been very satisfied not thinking at all (seriously a-t a-l-l) about meat or dairy and eating all veggies/fruit, and mostly raw. I'm really just more steadily interested in eating while eating a bit less than I did before.

Happy I did it. My personal eating habitry has been disassembled and slapped well awake and I like it.

2007-04-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

Ultimately, the most dangerous thing to be certain of will be your principles.

Day Seven

2007-03-27T08:21:00.000-07:00

one week!

Not so sleepy yesterday. By the morning I had lost 8lbs (sneak preview: as I write this on the morning of day eight I have lost nine pounds in seven days). My interest in food is now present several times a day, but not distractingly or cravingly. I'm not sick of the drink, it's still tasty, but with my increasing in sensitivity and depth (honestly it is really amazing and may be the greatest changes in the perception of one of my sense I've really ever experienced) food is becoming quite a bit more interesting.

The improved sense of smell isn't a volume increase...it's like reading a book when you go from blurry-eyed farsighted to suddenly having glasses—there aren't suddenly more words on the page and they aren't any bigger, but you can read them more clearly and instantly perceive the complexity and meaning of the story, it's subtext, the greater narrative and writing style and the qualities of the typesetting itself. Instead of the dull grey blur.

Another interesting appreciation brought to the front is the vast gulf between how satisfying and beautiful so many cooking foods can smell yet utterly fail to match when eaten. Coffee is a great example. I have loved the smell of coffee since I was a little kid, but it has never come anywhere near to being as good as an actual drink. As a drink it's just a bunch of hot water and a pale memory of it's scent. In the same way that Monet's Water Lilies can be astoundingly beautiful when experienced surrounding you at the Orangerie in Paris, but couldn't be any more than scratchy, uncomfortable and pointless if re-cut into a jogging suit. The fried food court at the mall in Emeryville is an odyssey of sophisticated and intriguing aromas to walk through—even (now) when passing by in a car several hundred feet away—but unthinkable and almost upsetting as a meal option.

Pants growing ever more generous and accomodating. Skin smoother (??—I'm being told). Sleep fine despite one midnight wake-up to expell more toxins, poo-style.

Sixth Day

2007-03-25T21:18:00.000-07:00

So...it turns out there really isn't so much peeing involved...if you make the drink with the right amount of water. Today we discovered we'd been using more than three times what's called for. Now the 'correct' formula tastes too strong and sweet. We now consider ourselves adequately hydrated.

Today was the first markedly sleepy day. Laying on the couch was really nice. But still managed to get out and get a few things done. Brushing up on scrabble skills. a little yoga.

Wanted food today. In the evening a few things came to mind. Still on the juice though. Pants growing.

Belief

2007-03-25T20:54:00.000-07:00

is no more than certainty in an even more desperately pretentious headdress.

Fifth day

2007-03-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

My sense of smell is still improving and I love it. It's going a long way to convincing me not to resume dairy/meat after the fast. This startling accuity of my scent perception is genuinely exciting. I truly did not realize or recall that so many things could smell so interesting and detailed and be so gratifying just to inhale. And still, none of this incites cravings to eat anything. Even bad, noxious odors are intiruiging and less off-putting.

In an odd way this reminds me of quitting smoking. I smoked steadily, up to 2 1/2 packs a day (from ultra lights to Winstons to Luckys) for about fourteen years. When I quit (finally after ~11 disinterested attempts) I did not miss it or crave, but for several years still deeply enjoyed the memory of the experience—even more than when I did smoke—and was able to access that satisfaction just by closing my eyes and inhaling deeply imagining what my body would feel like if I was smoking.

Went for a peppy 1.5 hr hike in Joaquin Miller Park after a 1.5 hr yoga class. Again the poses felt more accessible than usual. The hike was mellow, but also felt swift for some reason. The usual exertion-fatigue from going uphill just isn't as temporarily-punishing as it usually is and lifts upon cresting an incline.

In so many ways, not having loads of food working their way through me or popping up as the subject of little errand stops/hours of meal prep is seriously refreshing. clearer head, clearer movement, clearer body, and no real energy ups and downs throughout the day (except after sex, wherein being blissed-out afterwards now continues far far far far longer than usual. Definitely not a problem).

I really did not expect to notice so many clear and tangible positive results from this dumb-ass-simple program. I expected it to be a much more subtle and 'theoretically' benefical experience with plenty of fatigue and food longings. But my feelings range from normal to clearly positive and improved—and I wasn't exactly an allergy-ridden tub o' goo when I started. Nothing really seemed in need of a fix compared to most who do this.

I do have to say though that on day 5 I started to find myself feeling chilly in cool weather a little more easily than normal. To my understanding, the digestion of protein uses more energy and creates more body heat than other nutrients as well as requiring more rest for the body to accomplish. This, they say, is why vegetarian animals are generally stronger and live longer while carnivores must spend hours or even days alseep or in a lethargic state after consuming their prey. So I'll chalk it up to that for now.

Weight still dropping, but only about a pound today. Two pairs of pants that would not button due to prior gluttony now button easily and some previously embarrassing t-shirts are now merely snug.

Raffle update:

2007-03-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

At this point, I'd like to make a couple of things clear to ALL of those participating in the March raffle:

1. The prize has indeed risen in value due to the mini flood of comments over the last two days.

2. Please do your best (Jen) to have your comments related to something posted in the BLOG itself, and not just to weasel one's way to a hollow victory.

3. The current entry count is Sharkbait-2, Jen-1, Paul-2.

Day 4

2007-03-23T23:11:00.000-07:00

Ah Victory!

Well, at least I've outlasted two co-workers I know of who only went three days. but it's NOT a competition. No matter who wins or how stunningly large a margin I win by. Being unmistakably superior to those around me in the end does not give me the right to flaunt how much better of a person it's already clear that I am.

Mellow for much of the day. Still plenty of energy, no food cravings and no weakness of any kind. Various yoga poses are getting easier. Feels like there's progressively less 'packed-in' material around my joints, tendons. I'm still losing a steady 2 lbs per day.

My sense of smell has clearly improved. As with sleeping lately, I can't remember how long it's been since I could smell food cooking nearby so acutely and pleasantly. And without inciting any cravings either. I have also been noticing how nice it is to have all my food habits—good and bad—broken away.

Nasal passages are clearer and booger volume is down from days 2 and 3. Scant poo made a brief and mysterious showing. I won't go into detail though. If you want to know, ask and I'll fill you in.

That's it. Stay tuned for more tomorrow. And remember—if you post a comment you're automatically entered into the monthly raffle. More entries increase your chance of winning AND increases the value of the final prize!

Rundown of days 2 & 3

2007-03-22T22:54:00.000-07:00

Day 2:

Still an increase in energy throughout the day, though I've found I crash if I don't drink a full glass each hour. Still a little extra turned on too. A fine outlet for the extra energy of course. and sleeping better than I can remember sleeping since I was a little kid.

Day 3:

Feeling a little high-ish at work (hard not to see that as another bonus), but otherwise normal.

The checkout girl at the maple syrup store saw my lemon pile and immediately asked if I was "on the cleanse" quickly whipping out her own nalgene of elixir perking "me too!" She was unaware of the body's tendency to eat it's own muscle tissue after seven days. I suppose I could've kept that to myself. I'm hoping I'm wrong about that actually.

As of this morning I've lost about six pounds in what was just over two days. I feel thinner today, so tomorrow's weigh-in should be interesting.

There was more surplus nasal ejecta, significant poo reduction and roughly twice as much peeing as day 2. Still no food cravings. My juicing skills are quickening. I actually feel progessively cleaner/lighter. People at work continue to solicit my poorly informed explanations. My social mood and mental clarity are both upbeater than pre-fast, and sleep last night again was so peaceful I'm considering giving up food for good. Just like floating on big poofy clouds. What was I...twelve, the last time I slept so perfectly?

But mostly today I'm still just humming inside from having shared some really nice feelings I've had for a long time for an especially cute girl with her. Quite unlike pre-fast me. Perhaps the toxin of reticence is sloughing away as well.

let's hope.

Faster

2007-03-20T20:38:00.000-07:00

I'm drinking lemon juice, maple syrup and water instead of eating for the next ten days.

The first day certainly seems to be going well. It turns out that this drink, which comes with a pinch of cayenne pepper (and which in ten days I will experiment with in several chocolate recipes) makes me think even more about sex. And at least on this first day, quite responsively. It's already a big part of each of my minutes, but there's some kind of fun new light there because of this not-eating-anymore plan.

And the stuff tastes great. After a full day of nothing else I'm sitting here, late in the evening throwing back a tall glass like it's some boozy springtime playdrink. No joke, it's really pretty good. And not having to move five or six pounds of dead plants and animals through my body has left more energy in me than I'm used this time of day.

It suspiciously seems to satisfy everything I need to feel undistracted by food. Lemons are, I'm learning, really very good for you and go along swimmingly with maple syrup, and the cayenne warms you up so comfortably from inside your entire body.

I realize I'm close to describing the ecstasy we are known to experience when about to die of hypothermia, starvation, etc. But the idea of not having to eat for a week and half comes as a relief.

Cleverly, I went into this with no clue of what I was getting myself into. Otherwise I could never have been so blessedly awakened. I have a partner sharing the ride and I have expert advice from a good friend who knows her way through this. I'm surprised to see myself so agreeably going along with it, but I feel I'm in reassuring company for the experience.

I'm telling myself—for no good reason—that I will chronicle the experience recurringly, here at this blog. Tune in to see if this becomes so. As a reminder, there is a monthly raffle for all who comment. The more...the bigger the prize.

Relish the Naked Truth

2007-03-05T20:43:00.000-08:00

2007-02-24T13:57:00.000-08:00

When you stand with your back to the future, looking squarely at the past, what has come to be can appear as a some consecutive inevitability. As if what is was meant to be, or is the sensible result of what has been. Thus we can choose preceding history to justify what may now exist as being what is supposed to exist. From there is is a short hop to certainty, hence confidence merrily awaiting seduction into the suffering of righteousness.

This within us happens with an unusual efficiency as it requires virtually no energy or concious attention, whereas merely observing it may depend on a number of readily taxing and likely spontaneous upstream demands on both.

2006-12-04T20:44:00.000-08:00

I just don't want any situations where anyone is hurting anybody else.
That's my view of how the world should be.

Is there such a thing?

2006-10-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

When we put both of our feet on the ground, one is real and alive and awake,
and the other is quite certain it's a foot.

I can't tell you how or why there is such casual injustice in the world in some way that reassures you that you are some pure goodness, some angel, something separate.

It does appear that there is some experience of Will, and experience is the very soul of uniqueness. Good for us. But you are how anything that's happening out there works.

It's hard to resist believing "you" is a matter of self to which that is directed whether receiving the above notion or not.

2006-10-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

Dog Park Enthusiasm

I am now a part of the vlogging revolution.

Life, Meaning and Purpose

2006-10-12T23:54:00.000-07:00

You have to make fun of Life.

Otherwise it gets all full of itself and needy, and eventually gets so top heavy that you have to start worrrying about it falling over on top of you.

Come to think of it, Meaning itself could use a good "kick me" sign taped to it's back now and then too.

And don't even get me started on Purpose...

Regarding the comment feature:

2006-10-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

Use it, please.

Look, I know when I started this thing I intended entirely to have no one ever even come across it, and I know there's only about two views a day, but it would just be nice is all. I never post comments to other people's blogs so, sure, I can't blame you for not seeing any point to it. So don't. but just consider it. Maybe that'll get us one a week here. That should be enough to hold a monthly raffle among all those who commented. The more comments, the more incredible the prizes will be!

I look forward to reading everything you have to say.

Confidence is a gift to others.

2006-10-05T14:52:00.000-07:00

It relieves them of the anxiety of having to feel more certain of themselves.
To follow is to rest, to breathe, to not be alone.

Certainty is one of life's greatest temptations

2006-09-28T20:07:00.000-07:00

2006-09-21T21:38:00.000-07:00

Trust is letting go of what you think you'd be able to have if you could avoid having to trust

Trust makes you a thousand times lighter

Trust brings you more than you could ever bring to yourself

Trust is deciding not to send panic even a postcard anymore

Eat trust for breakfast tomorrow. Before you wake up completely and start collecting reasons not to. You'll win. I promise.

Paradise exists entirely because it is elsewhere.

2006-09-21T21:31:00.000-07:00

It's just that needy.

Don't coddle Paradise's insecurities. Ignore it. Maybe then it will wise up and come to play some day.

And if it doesn't, who fucking cares. If it's so gaddamned perfect what the hell does it need you for anyway.

Confidence is a game we tell ourselves we're not playing.

2005-07-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

Freedom

2005-07-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

Use it or lose it.

It's not there so we can have something to defend. Nobody owns a speck of it.

It's how you are to live.

2005-07-09T01:29:00.000-07:00

Relevance has the elasticity of memory.

2005-07-07T22:32:00.000-07:00

If your life is a duplication of the plans you made for it
you are asleep

It will never be five minutes ago.

2005-06-06T18:06:00.000-07:00

Strength only comes from nothing.

2005-05-30T21:13:00.000-07:00

never from pride.

2005-05-30T20:03:00.000-07:00

If you believe that everything you have done, you have done because you chose to, then you live a life of complete affectation, empty of the greatness and truth you were given a life to uncover.

The World Doesn't Grow

2005-05-25T22:56:00.000-07:00

It moves forward because it's parts move forward
The whole is never more than a guess
It is not where purposes are imagined
It scarcely functions as a manifestation
As a reflection it only mocks schizophrenically

There is growth.
There is only growth.
There is no world to do such growing

2005-05-22T02:23:00.000-07:00

Only want promises satisfaction.

As a matter of fact, that's all it promises.

2005-05-20T21:36:00.000-07:00

a surprise is better than a nothing.

Remember Freedom

2005-05-20T20:59:00.000-07:00

From now on it's all money. Cash, I mean. I don't need to know 23 days from now—again—that I bought a shirt for $15.00 on April 7th at 3:42pm at the Gap on Market St. in San Francisco. I don't even want to have to think about most of that stuff—when I'm buying the shirt!

From now on I will not be using my credit card for anything less than $500. I just do not need to have ANY kind of informational relationship with that time a few Thursday's back when I bought coffee and a maple scone at the Starbuck's on Brannan St. at 9:45am. Fuck that. I got enough meaningless crap I have to remember.

Frankly, I just don't want to be picking through a list of twenty different times that I spent money last month for ANY reason. And I don't have to.

When I want to buy a burrito:

1. I decide to get one

2. I give the burrito person my six bucks

3. There is no "3."

I am now totally entitled to completely forget the incident ever happened. I don't have to remember any of it, for anyone, ever. Hey, if I wanna daydream a few days later about how cute the "salsa, spicy or mild?" girl was all I gotta do is sit back and let that sweet memory lift me as it will. Ain't nothin' else I gotta know about $7.96 at 7:45pm at the El Toro Taqueria, LLC on Valencia St.

You want something? Go get the money and pay for it. those are the stakes. You weren't given a life so you could waste time keeping track of receipts. And if there's a God there's no way he's impressed when you do.

The Reverence of Sloth

2005-05-06T21:48:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone.

I just wanted to say that, despite the roomy pauses between posts you are all still very much on my mind. In fact, by not posting I am really just cutting you all a break. Think about it. Most bloggers post several times a week - some even post every day. That's a lot to have to keep up with isn't it?

Do you think of blogs as friends sometimes? it's ok. Lots of people do. small friends though. not like people friends. Well, I consider it my role to enusure that this blog is not the kind of friend that's clingy. You know, the kind that calls you seven times for every one time you call them, until they just stop calling one day, and even though you have no idea where they are you can feel the seething embarrassment of their realization that all that time you never really wanted to hang out with them in the first place? I don't want it to be like that for you.

View of Some Kind is the friend that gives you the freedom to live your much more interesting lives without having to keep up with whatever I've failed to keep to myself. The kind of friend that you only see once in a while. Offering a modest, but true reminder of the last time we were together so long ago, exposing the wisdom you have gained since then. And imposing no contract that you make plans to check in again tomorrow.

Any blog can siphon the forsaken minutes of our redundant lives. View of Some Kind is here to remind you of the full cinematic expanse of your own fascinating journeys through this life. The calming touch of memory. The shepherding warmth of patient familiarity.

I almost feel terrible for even making this entry. not really terrible, but kind of. Just to think of what else you could be doing right now. Gosh.

Anyway, be not bothered by any revised expectations because of this post. It will likely be a good long time before I post anything else. That time, and all of the vacancy it affords, are my gifts to you. now go.

I'm playing the lottery.

2005-04-25T21:24:00.000-07:00

It's this Wednesday.

Recently uncovered

2005-04-23T22:31:00.000-07:00

The following five items were discovered on a white marker board I just pulled from the closet. Their context has expired...

Boldness has power and magic and genius in it. It will bring you the best things in your life.

Nothing is neccessary to do anything.
You just have to get it done.

You want the power to protect your insecurities.

There is shelter and communion in anger

Sentiment is gold, but the weight of objects is lead.

(wow. I really have no idea what I was thinking on that last one. sorry. maybe it was the metaphor that in actuality, lead and gold weigh the same in your hands, unifying what, as read-through, first appear in opposition.)

2005-04-22T19:32:00.000-07:00

I meet people every day who I know will never be my best friend. You have to make some contracts of mutual understanding. That you're both aware that you do not neccesarily know enough about who the other is to eliminate all risk from the engagement you both, for your own reasons among others, will now need to go through together. Because what you do share, and you both can feel, is the trust you are yielding to/investing/allowing for to combine your efforts, and your time to exact more from the time you each have than if you didn't.

To even expect every upheld intimacy of view of another - even of yourself - before deeming a come-upon possibility for both of you as unqualified, is to insult the gift of the few moments we are given to live in.

There are only details

2005-04-21T19:23:00.000-07:00

And there are only a few of them.

hiatus cynicus liberatus

2005-04-09T13:07:00.000-07:00

Because it annoys me, albeit for selfish reasons, to have a website stop updating without explanation I am hereby giving fair notice that I will be taking a hiatus from posting. Probably for several months, if not permanently.

I know. The blog has been up for only a week. But after posting only two of the fortune cookie-type aphorisms it was expected this blog would be an accumulation of, my body I'm afraid, has already suffered more of the effects of the repeated vomiting that results from just knowing they are up there, than I think it is reasonably safe to expect it to endure.

I will leave what is up, up. But I'm fairly certain that that is all.

Honestly, I don't know how you blog people do it. So much wasted time. So much aimless blathering. Spewgiddy thoughtlessness. None of us needs more opportunities to tragically squander what few moments we have in this short life squatting in the still warm detrius of yet another stranger's effort-free disposals. If we want to convince ourselves that we appreciate those around us, that we are not a part of whatever soul-decay we each ponder this human world suffers through, then we are all beholden to consider first how we use up, idly, the precious time of others when we are blessed with the gift of receiving it, however casually.

There are four blogs I read a few times a week. They are of people I know personally. They are meaningful to me. The remainder, in their millions, are simply unecessary.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's because I've always disliked reading since I was a child having only honestly read through five books in 37 years. But it is a yellowy sheen across alomst every blog that it is done, simply because it is as easy as masturbating. I too can pick my nose, re-tie my shoe, put a fresh bag in the kitchen garbage can, choose a towel when I get out of the shower, etc. And I can spend countless hours staring at a monitor. I do not hope to add any of this to your lives.

[posted for the purpose of ignoring]

2005-04-08T22:50:00.000-07:00

There is only truth. Certainty is how we misunderstand it. Believing that it is to be touched and held. owned and known.

Fun wants to be had,

2005-04-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

as much as you want to have it.

And now I'm high.

2005-04-06T21:53:00.000-07:00

Let's all just not break into each other's homes. So we can all just leave our doors unlocked. And then we don't have to carry all these fucking keys around. Nobody having to ever carry any keys anymore would be great. and much better than having to.

I say, if you can remember where you live, that should be enough. you should just be able to get in.

God I love smoking pot. It just makes it so obvious how easy life can be.

Went drinkin'

2005-04-06T21:07:00.000-07:00

ok. just three beers. and I ate dinner with them. But I never go out drinking. So now you, blogreaders across the globe, have to hear about it.

Met two professional colleagues at a nearby pub after work. It was nice to have booze in my blood. As a habitual non-drinker, it always surprises me how easily and inspiringly different I come to realize life, and my life in particular, really is when I'm kinda drunk. The possibilities that flower in my future. The exciting and fool-proof plans that so readily show themselves after unjust months of aimlessly sober reppression. The vast richness of my colorful past. Almost convinced myself the waitress was being 'especially' nice to me, and not just because it would bring her a bigger tip.

I tell ya. drinking is so good for me. I think I'm going to start getting completely pissed every day after work. Everything falls into place. so many unredeemable fears vanish and a life of glorious opportunities can once again arise to it's rightful prominence.

Look out world. Amazing me is soon to be sprung upon you. inspired. courageous. and tilted a bit to one side.

how I've missed my dear drunken self.

now where's my bong?

M&M's

2005-04-05T19:10:00.000-07:00

just had some.

Had dinner.

2005-04-04T22:44:00.000-07:00

And it included a beer.

I have since taken off one of my socks. the other remains.

Hey, it's Monday

2005-04-04T19:30:00.000-07:00

I had a headache through the afternoon today. it was painful. it's gotten worse since I got home, but it will pass eventually. I need to do laundry soon.

Most of my socks are black

2005-04-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will have to chose which among them I will wear. They have all been worn at least once, so this will probably mean deciding which I will think either feels or looks cleanest and then putting those on before I head out for work.

haven't done my taxes

2005-04-03T19:16:00.000-07:00

Have you? One of my clients from last year, despite numerous phone conversations and written correspondence still has not sent the required documents.

(Please feel free to comment below as to whether or not you'd like to see more posts like this in the future.)

destinies...

2005-04-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

Some are born to blog. I am not. forgive me. I will post as little as possible.

inaugural post

2005-04-03T16:33:00.000-07:00

So here it is. I expect to have little if anything to say. But here it will be if so. Beyond the continued pressure of a dear friend to start this blog be advised that it will likely only reflect the fact that it ultimately has no other reason to exist.

For now I will begin by revealing the secret of this blog's title. I'm planning on moving soon. I noted a few criteria for the new digs. They are as follows (Jesus, this blog crap is interesting):

-Laundry in Bldg (not such a bad blog name in itself actually)

-Full Size Oven (hmm...maybe I should start a few different blogs...)

-View of Some Kind (the winner)

So there you have it. I'll probably delete this post once others accumulate so as to install a permenent sense of mystery surrounding it's vacuous moniker.

Oh, and also, as a possibly unique bonus to the reader, be reassured that this blog will not employ the pretense of naked honesty or unconcealed truth of a courageous life lived free of the false affectations of so many who live um...falsely affectated, uh...lives. No chance. I will censor for my own selfish convenience without a speck of remorse. Will I share deep secrets? I might decide to tell you that's what I'm doing from time to time, but by and large, fuck no. in fact, I may actually never enter another post after this one. Or, maybe everything I post will be an unengaging lie (did I mention that I work in a museum?). I may even feel like I have better things to do every day and this'll be the whole shebang right here. this one post.

ok. so it has begun. enjoy. if you must.